Rock Bottom and Bouncing

So after feeling so low I took myself off to see the Dr who gaily announced that I wasn't depressed, but stressed, over worked and in need of some pampering!
Kind of a relief, but didn't help when I'd got a long drive down south to do to take the girls to mums for a week, and a drive back again.



Still the good news was that the new special someone in my life was meeting me at home when I got back and we could spend a couple of nights and a day together.
I was still a bit nervous as we've not been seeing each other for long and hadn't got as far as full on sex yet.

I shouldn't have been worried, we had a lovely evening and being in bed together just felt right. Even the downside of his diabetes and the tablets and injections it requires haven't been a problem so far.

We've done lots of snuggling together, which has been lovely. It feels almost as though we are both starved of them and trying to catch up on lost time together.

But of course, I'm as horny as hell - not much change there, and I'm not sure how he is going to cope with me long term... But they are things to worry about for the future, for now I'm happy and feel safe and loved in his arms. Last night was a wonderful combination of sensations, erotic, pleasureable, painful - but no less erotic and I'm sitting here with a nicely tender behind



Can't wait for this evening to see what transpires next.

Dark Places

I'm feeling so down the moment, and I don't understand why. I've got a lovely new man who might actually be what I've been searching for, a house to live in, no hastle from the ex as he doesn't know where we live and I'm starting to make friends.
But on the other hand I feel so alone, scared and not holding it all together.

I've never been in charge of a households finances before, and mine are precarious at the best of times. Every time I turn around there seems to be something else in need of money spending. Life is just overwhelming me at the moment and I feel like I want to run and hide, crying in a corner till it passes.

I'm still putting on a confident and complete front for everyone but its really hard work and I'm so tired.Inside I'm falling apart. Perhaps I need to go back to the Drs and see if there is something else apart from Prozac that I can take.

I wish I could pull myself out of it, but I'm so scared about everything. Everything seems to be hard and complicated, even the girls going away with mum is complicated and I've got to drive them to somewhere I don't know. I can't work out my route or timings to see friends easily, I've still got work to do which I can't get into. I want to go to a bbq in the south in june but need to be up here the following morning for Katherine to sing in church. It feels like ever time I set my hand to do something it doesn't go easily.

Changing Drs was just a simple thing to do as I moved up here, but that too wasn't simple. I'm now on blood pressure tablets, and have had to go for all sorts of tests, with the prospect of more medication as well.

Even joining the Alpha course at church has caused more problems that its solving, I've got the cost of a babysitter to find, which is extortionate, the cost of the meal and to top it all off its making me really wonder if I've got faith or if I'm just playing at it and saying the right things to the right people. Half of me is really sceptical about it all and the other half believes and relies on God.

well, I'm off for a good cry now, sometimes it helps and then I might be able to get on with some work.

Initial Thoughts

Well, I've only just got into the concept of Blogging (call me slow on the uptake sometimes!) and I started a blog on another site.

However, I've since got together with someone who also uses the same site, so I thought it might be an idea to move mine here. Then I can be honest and frank about anything that happens.

Not that I'm expecting to say anything that I wouldn't want him to read, but you never know.

Funny kind of day today, I've got more work to do than I know where to start with and no inclination to do any of it! Had a lovely text from the new man in my life, nothing serious just hugs and cuddles and snuggles. But it was really nice and good to know that he was thinking of me - especially as he'd already told me that he doesn't mix work and home life, so I've not been expecting to hear anything from him during the work day.

ok, I've got to do something or my boss will shoot me. More later if anything interesting happens.

Found this today while I was surfing, I thought it was good, and there are tonnes of other silly quizzes to do on the same site. Some are surprisingly accurate!

http://www.quizdiva.com/sexsignquiz.html